Why Don't You Just Get a Gun?

So I have this gun, which I got illegally from some nefarious characters. But it never works when I need it to. The other night I tried to use it and it disintegrated in my hands. So I decided to go back to the place where I got it and get a new one. The place is a round room, decorated by the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy guys. It is at the end of a long pier, but the way is blocked by enormous rubber balls and giant wooden blocks. So I turn to Mick Jagger and say, "Can't I just buy a gun?" And he says, "What do you do?" And I say, "I'm a writer." And he says, "Oh, no. They don't let writers have guns."