Don't trust the toaster

There's a really funny radio ad running right now. In it, a girl that sounds just a little ditzy talks about how she can hear a song that she likes on the radio, push a button, and the radio sends the information about the song to her iPod. Then the iPod tells her computer that she wants to buy the song. She likes the feature, she says, but it's a little creepy, all her appliances talking about her.

"I mean, my shower has seen me naked," she says. "What is it telling my toaster?"

Great line, right?

Yesterday G-mail directed an ad at me for back surgery. And I think oh, that's just a coincidence. G-mail doesn't know that I've had back surgery!

Today I got an ad for a local therapist.

And now I'm worried about the lies my shower and toaster have been spreading about me.

Keep guessing or the bird gets it

Having waaaaaaay more fun playing the stolen photographs game with my dad's stuff than with my mom's. Quite frankly, his stuff is a lot weirder:

Do as we say or the bird gets it

You ain't nothin' but a ...

I happened across the Art Helping Animals site via the loose network of people at my company who have beagles and other hounds.

A portion of the proceeds from each sale goes to charity and one of the featured charities is a local beagle rescue organization called Beagles of New England States (BONES).

Since 10-20% of the sale of the artwork goes to chartiy, it seems mean to make fun of them. Do you think it's OK if I make 10-20% fun of them?

The ones of the dogs in bathtubs are among my favorites, as are the ones that seem to have been drawn with crayons, which are selling for $150. Seriously, though, I'm kinda thinking of buying "Beagles with Hats #3".

An answer and a hint

My mom's latest guess (for more info on what the hell we're doing, click on the tag "stolen photographs," below) was ....


Artifact 1

This object wasn't an easy one to photograph in a different way and I'm not 100% happy with this photo, but them's the rules of the game. OK, I'm making the rules up as I go along, but it seems like a good rule that you should have to post a photo of the object once identified, even if the photo is not very good. I was going for a nice stark white background, but didn't quite get it right. I posted one more photo of the paint rag on my photostream, but I'm not very happy with that one, either.

Anyway, since my mom enlisted the help of friends who turned out to be helpless, she gets a hint:

stolen photos002

There you go!

See all of the stolen photographs collection (so far).

I'll have what she's having

So one of the upstairs neighbors approaches me the other day (after this horrifying episode) and says something along the lines of he's sorry that his girlfriend is so loud and he'll try to tell her to keep it down ...

A little loud?

It was like the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally ... only with words that weren't suited for the movie's R rating.

I just kinda smiled and acted like I had no idea what he was talking about. But I wanted to say "Dude, I am (technically) old enough to be your mother. Please let's just act like this never happened and never, ever speak of it again."

They say good fences make good neighbors. I say what makes for good neighbors is pretending not to notice how loud they are, or the eight-foot-tall grass in their yard, or the fact that they deal drugs or are crazy or have dogs that bark every time a leaf falls off a tree.

Putting the "writes" back in Gienna Writes

So the results are in for the 24-hour short story contest that I wrote about last month. I didn't win ... but that's OK--I had fun writing the story. Plus, my name got picked for a random door prize, an e-book of my choice. I chose one on travel writing, my dream/fantasy job. I have no idea how anyone makes money doing travel writing. Do they have to pay expenses such as airfare and hotel up front? Does the standard pay for articles in travel magazines even cover these expenses? Maybe it doesn't; maybe most travel writers have the money and the free time to go on trips and if they sell a story about it, so much the better.

Well, we'll see if the e-book answers all my questions. (Come to think of it, I have no idea how anyone makes money writing e-books, either, although I'm sure there's also an e-book on how to make money writing e-books.)

Anyway, I haven't had a chance to read the winning stories yet, but I'm curious ... If you do happen read any of them (see link at the top of this post), share your thoughts, please!

I want to do just a teeny tiny little work to the story I submitted and put back in some of the parts I had to cut because of the 1,000 word limit. When I'm done, though, I'll post it here.