You Know You're From Massachusetts When ...

I edited this list for length, accuracy and clarity and because there was a lot of crap about the Bulger brothers that I didn't agree with and also some crazy shit about the curse of the Bambino and hoping the Red Sox would win the World Series in this lifetime. What's up with that? Everything that's left on the list? Yeah, that's me to a T. (Get it? The T?)

You Know You're From Massachusetts When ...

* The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.
* When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke ... not quinine water.
* You consider driving around rotaries a sport.
* You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.
* You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.
* You know what they sell at a packie.
* You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
* You can actually find your way around Boston -- even with the Big Dig.
* You've ever had Evacuation Day off from school or work.
* You know that Boston is a city of firsts, including the first gay prom and the first First Night.
* You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
* You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.
* You have never been to Cheers.
* When you say "wicked" you don't mean "evil."
* You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.
* You know the difference between a frappe and a milk shake.
* You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation (or both) on field trip in grammar school.
* You've been to Brimfield, home of the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.
* You pride yourself on the fact that you can drive to the woods, the mountains and the ocean ... all in one day.
* You know that Route 495 is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
* You know it's not "Nantasket."
* You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
* You've ever had to perform your accent by saying the phrase "I parked my car in Harvard Yard (and went across the street to the bar for a beer)."
* You've called something "wicked pissa."
* You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo.
* You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.
* There's a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
* You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car ... year 'round.
* You know what candlepin bowling is.
* You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
* You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" meme here.
[Via StuckHereWithNoTV]


Alicia said...

Some of this stuff applies to Rhode Islanders too...except the beer on Sundays thing. I was shocked and appalled when I went up there last summer and found that liquor stores can now be open on Sundays! What's next? Beer at the 7-11 and the supermarket? Like the rest of America???

J9 said...

Even after living in South Carolina for 5 years, I still keep a snow brush and blanket in the trunk of my car. You just never know!

Measi said...

It's funny that a couple of them no longer apply, but are oh-so-true in historical contexts.

Addendum #1: You've used f**k as a noun, adjective, indirect object, and adverb-- in the same sentence.