Do I smell something?

What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.

Proving yet again that life really is a Seinfeld episode, I'm having a smelly car problem. The sad thing is that there could be any number of causes for the smell--I've never been the type to keep a neat, clean vehicle. But this smell is beyond beyond. So I threw out the old coffee cups and the other junk that had piled up on the floor and washed all the windows and wiped down the dashboard. I left a mesh bag filled with lava rocks (it's supposed to soak up smells) in the car overnight.

This morning, thinking that the odor molecules had at least 12 hours to de-smellify, I opened the door ... and the smell punched me right in the face. It was almost as though it had gained strength overnight. Pretty soon I'll be driving with my head stuck out the window like a dog.

Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure now that the source of the smell has something to do with the dog. Which means I'm going to have to clean the seats with carpet cleaner and a vacuum. If that doesn't work, I might have to sell the car. And if that doesn't work, I might have to park it in Lynn with the keys in the ignition.

What happened? My car stinks is what happened. And it’s destroying the lives of everyone in its path.
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