A Completely Normal Thanksgiving

I went to Shaw's yesterday to get my turkey. I decided to go with the fresh Butterball. Fresh to avoid the nightmare that is defrosting a frozen turkey (not having to deal with a sink full of ice-cold turkey water is totally worth another 50 cents a pound) and Butterball to avoid the huge disappointment that was the free-range, all natural turkey a few years back.

"Is she cooking a normal turkey this year?" my dad wants to know.

Unfortunately, when I got to Shaw's, all that was left were either huge 25-plus-pound turkeys or tiny, 11-pound turkeys. All the ladies were complaining bitterly about it. Meanwhile, I snuck off and found a guy in a suit who was standing around looking dumb and convinced him to go out back and find me a nice 15-pound turkey.

I was furtively wheeling my lovely mid-sized turkey toward the checkout lanes when the guy from the meat department came up to my cart with a kind of quizzical, nervous look on his face.

In return, I gave him a look that said, You know, I really am sorry if I got a turkey that you were saving for someone else. I really am. But if you think I'm giving it back, there is going to be a serious problem. My dad wants a normal turkey this year. And by God he's going to get it.

"Find everything you wanted?" he asked.


"OK, then," he said, as he stole another glance at my 15-pound turkey. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Oh, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too."

Don't worry, dad. This year the turkey is going to be completely normal.


Anonymous said...

This is a very cute and funny story, but I couldn't find anything about the wool felt ball bag.
The excerpt from your nomo novel is very good.
I'll be off to Shaws soon to look for pies!

Gienna said...

Crap -- pick up some milk for me, will ya? I'm almost out and don't want to go anywhere near a grocery store today.

And I'm saving the wool felt bag post for the day after Thanksgiving--the official start of the holiday shopping season. Yay!