Non-sequit ...Hey, did you see Lost last night?

Yesterday I called the gas company because I know that my upstairs neighbor, who was murdered earlier this week, owes them about $4,000 and that they recently sent her a shutoff notice. And, despite the fact that it was about 80 degrees out yesterday, I was worried that her heat would get shut off and that her pipes would freeze and burst and flood my unit. I thought maybe if they knew that she had died suddenly they would put a note on her account not to shut off the heat right away, until it could be determined who owns the property and who is responsible for the bill.

Yeah, in retrospect, it sounds pretty stupid to me, too.

So I called the gas company and explained to a woman in customer service about how I own the downstairs unit and someone else owns the upstairs unit and how I know the woman who owns (owned) the upstairs unit owes them a lot of money because I saw the bill and the shutoff notice and how I was worried that, with winter coming, the pipes might freeze and burst if the heat got shut off and how the truth was they probably weren't going to get paid in the short term because the woman who owed them the money had died and that, in fact, she was murdered. And the more I talked the more I realized how crazy I sounded and so finally I just said, "Listen, I know this all sounds really crazy but is there any way you could just put a note on her account saying that there's, you know, extenuating circumstances?"

"Ma'am," the Keyspan woman says to me, "You really shouldn't be reading other people's mail."

And by the way can someone PLEASE explain to me what the hell that opening scene on Lost was all about last night? Like, where do they get a dozen copies of a Stephen King book on a desert island? Or a stove to bake muffins in? Seriously, WTF?

Well, at least now we know the story behind the polar bears and the shark with the Dharma Initiative logo on it. Thank God they cleared all that up.


Anonymous said...

wouldnt a better idea be for the landlord to go into the basement and shut off the water valves leading upstairs, and then drain the pipes until a new tenet moves in?...

Gienna said...

Oh, that's a really good idea. Obviously, I didn't even think of it, so thanks.

Of course, there isn't actually a landlord. But if it comes to that, it's probably something I could do on my own.

I can hear it now: "Ma'am, you really shouldn't be breaking into other people's houses and turning off the water."

Lyss said...

Water damage sucks for everyone.What do the other neighbors in your building think should be done? Maybe you can all get together to find a solution so no one's home gets damaged. Do you have a condo association (assuming you live in a condo...)?

Gienna said...

See, this is what I love about the Internets ... Everyone working together to help solve my bizzare problems.

@lyss -- we do have a condo association. But there are only two members (it's a two-family that's been converted to condos).

Guess that makes me the new president, huh?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I am the only person who can see the humor in this...

balck mold said...
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