Look what the cat dragged in ...

I'd just like to say that this year's spring clean-up is superior to all other spring clean-ups by a mile. I whacked weeds, raked and bagged leaves, pulled rocks and roots out of the ground, dug holes and planted flowers. I beautified the HELL out of my yard.

But more importantly, for the first time in my life I bought and spread mulch. Mulch has always intimidated me. There are so many colors to choose from, so many different materials and scents. How many bags do you need? How thick do you spread it? Where should you put it? And those bags are heavy! I feel like you ought to have a truck if you're going to be buying mulch.

Anyway, the yard does look very pretty, the mulch is neatly (if a little bit too thinly) spread. And the spring cleanup is done, more or less, except for the watering, the mowing, and the occasional weed-pulling.

Oh, and the picking up of the cat poop.

As soon as I spread that first bag of mulch, every cat in the neighborhood came running. Apparently, my yard now looks and smells like a freshly-cleaned litter box. That pine scent--it's irresistible! Those woody fibers--so luxurious to the paw! And look! She's decorated it with a little troll! How kitchy!

A quick search online turns up dozens of lovely ways to discourage the cats: scatter around some thorny branches from a rose bush, spray commercial cat repellents or spread home-made deterrents, such as orange rinds or Vicks Vapo Rub, spray them with a water pistol (though I haven't actually caught any in act and, um, don't really want to, either). If it gets much worse I might have to buy a "cat-crow." (Someone at that company's been abusing Photoshop, I think.)

My favorite idea so far: Bury mouse traps under the mulch. That'll teach the disgusting little bastards.