Don't you know who I am?

All I could think of when I saw the picture on the left, which was the tease for this article on CNN, was "Why the hell is there a picture of Vanessa Huxtable on CNN?" Do you think Cynthia McKinney will punch me in the face if she finds out? OK, that's bad, I know. But I just have no respect for a politician who makes Jerry Springer show guests look like church mice.

You have to love this story, especially the "high and the haughty" and the "much ado about hairdo" lines:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- U. S. Capitol Police Chief Terrance Gainer said Wednesday that Rep. Cynthia McKinney turned an officer's failure to recognize her into a criminal matter when she failed to stop at his request, and then struck him.

He reached out and grabbed her and she turned around and hit him," Gainer said on CNN. "Even the high and the haughty should be able to stop and say, 'I'm a congressman' and then everybody moves on."

"This is not about personality," added House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Illinois. "It's not about racial profiling. It's about making this place safer."

For her part, McKinney wasn't backing down from the argument. She charged anew that racism is behind what she said is a pattern of difficulty in clearing Hill security checkpoints.

"This has become much ado about hairdo," she said Wednesday on CBS's "The Early Show." McKinney, a Georgia Democrat, recently dropped her trademark cornrows in favor of a curly brown afro.

(It goes on but I'm stopping there because -- surprise, surprise -- Tom DeLay says something stupid.)
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It's all Jen Garrett's fault

Because she wrote this. And now it is snowing. On April 5th.

And, by the way, the dog and I met the cutest little puggle puppy at the beach this weekend. You know, when it was warm.

And NOT SNOWING.
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One of these things is not like the others

So I did this thing where you upload a photo of yourself on a site called myheritage.com and it spits out your celebrity look-alikes.

And here is what the computer came up with.



In case you were wondering, the smokin' babes in this lineup are Michelle Wie, Hitomi Yoshizawa, Lucy Liu, Namie Amuro ... and some goofy-looking white chick.

Meanwhile, I also matched with Britney Spears, Anne Rice, and Michael Jackson. That's right, Michael Jackson. And not the old, cute, Michael Jackson with the button nose, either, but the perverted, creepy, Jesus-juice drinking one that looks like an alien.

That one really cut me deep.
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Things just got interesting:

[Click for larger. Via The Tail Section]

And here's a link for Katie, who always wants to know: "Is Lost a repeat?"
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Kim Carrigan's Legs

My site counter hit 17,000 recently. Based on the search results that people use to find my site, many of these visitors were looking for help with their English homework. If you are here because you need to write a poem with an analogy in it you are really in the wrong place. That's right, Nick, I'm talking to you. And just a head's up: My crappy poem titled "Letter to an Old Friend" is not the one you are looking for. I just have absolutely no imagination when it comes to titles.

Lately I've been getting a lot of hits from people seeking the definition of "the opposite of the Midas touch." It's shit, people. The opposite of having everything you touch turn to gold is having everything you touch turn to shit, OK?

Apparently some of my visitors crave "blue liquer" And many would like (who wouldn't?) to buy a "Dwight Schrute bobble-head doll." A bunch don't know how to spell Micheal Scott, either.

But based on search engine referrals to this site, the vast majority of visitors to this site are obsessed with Kim Carrigan. And her legs. I get lots and lots of searches every week looking for information on Kim Carrigan and her legs. Seriously, is this how you people spend your days? Googling Kim Carrigan's legs?

I think I'll start sprinkling Kim Carrigan references into my posts and see what happens. How quickly would I get to 20,000 hits if I started writing things like "Kim Carrigan in a leather mini-skirt?"
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Can't I Just Write this Entry in Word?

Did you ever notice how office humor--you know, like the cartoon "Dilbert" or the TV show "The Office"--is so much funnier when you work in an actual office?

I was laughing so hard over Overheard in the Office that I was actually crying. And I swear, whoever submitted this conversation must have been a fly on the wall in mine yesterday.

[via my totally cool office-mate, by the way. Which for those of you who know the story ... um ... yeah, I can't really talk about that.]